Tuesday, 3 December 2013

#On the second day of giving spaces


Fall asleep with no data plan being subscribed. Already log out from WeChat, to keep myself from reaching out for you. Trying a week of ‘giving-space-plan’, to see whether it is you or it is me who was searching for each other. Yup, tears were falling thru every prayers and showers as I don’t like this kind of uneasy feeling lingers on me any longer.

Am I being selfish to hold myself from greeting you my morning/night text? Nope, just by praying for HIM to protects all of my loved ones, and that’s including you. Plus, I have Diana to update me about you on any occasions. At least, I have her as my second eye and ears. Will you do the same for me? Sneak a peek and glance at my side mirror every single morning and evening, only to find you.

It was not easy to wait and time. At random 6.30 and 10.30 in the morning, check my phones as usual, but this time it was different. I fix it with a short remembrance of my mum and dad. Tears had been falling again. Yup, it seems like I’m a weakling, but HE gave me strength to gain after that. I’m hurt the way you push me to keep aside. HE gave me time to meet you, and that was a blessing I wouldn’t trade upon.

Time appears moving faster while I’m awake, but it moves slower while I’m asleep. Is it wrong to act like you even know I’m real? While I am driving alone, deep inside me there was a voice to drop you by, and brings any smile that was disappeared from you this recent time; but is it really me?

It’s hurt when you said you don’t know why and how, because it seems rather familiar; previously called it feeling ‘empty’. Everything looking so fine and calm, yet you would be looking for something better. How could I meet this bareness again which makes me questioning my existence?

Every single thing I've said to you, and that’s a complete text if we put it on a play. All I could say for now is, I need HIM to make it happens.

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