Fall asleep with no data plan being
subscribed. Already log out from WeChat, to keep myself from reaching out for
you. Trying a week of ‘giving-space-plan’, to see whether it is you or it is me
who was searching for each other. Yup, tears were falling thru every prayers
and showers as I don’t like this kind of uneasy feeling lingers on me any
longer.
Am I being selfish to hold myself
from greeting you my morning/night text? Nope, just by praying for HIM to
protects all of my loved ones, and that’s including you. Plus, I have Diana to
update me about you on any occasions. At least, I have her as my second eye and
ears. Will you do the same for me? Sneak a peek and glance at my side mirror
every single morning and evening, only to find you.
It was not easy to wait and time.
At random 6.30 and 10.30 in the morning, check my phones as usual, but this
time it was different. I fix it with a short remembrance of my mum and dad.
Tears had been falling again. Yup, it seems like I’m a weakling, but HE gave me
strength to gain after that. I’m hurt the way you push me to keep aside. HE
gave me time to meet you, and that was a blessing I wouldn’t trade upon.
Time appears moving faster while
I’m awake, but it moves slower while I’m asleep. Is it wrong to act like you
even know I’m real? While I am driving alone, deep inside me there was a voice
to drop you by, and brings any smile that was disappeared from you this recent
time; but is it really me?
It’s hurt when you said you don’t
know why and how, because it seems rather familiar; previously called it
feeling ‘empty’. Everything looking so fine and calm, yet you would be looking
for something better. How could I meet this bareness again which makes me
questioning my existence?
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