AYAH

Ayah, tetap tersenyum :)

Biarlah apa orang nak kata tentang aku, buruk baik aku, bila aku balik..

'Ayah oh Ayah, kenapa manusia berperangai serupa dunia ni dia yang punya?'

Ayah akan setia bagi aku segala macam teladan atau teguran yang akan aku hadam sampai bila-bila.

Cukuplah hanya Ayah dan Mak, aku rasa jalan aku lurus kerna jantung yang berdegup ini jumpa makanan dia; doa dan kasih sayang yang takkan pernah putus dari mereka.

Ya Tuhan, kurniakanlah jannahMU buat para waliku. Amiinn.

My 30th January 2014

Sekali lagi satu pertemuan tercipta.

Perlahan ku pimpin jalan dengan doa dan harapan yang tak pernah padam.

Jauh aku lari kejar pelangi, dan kini hadir lagi satu jiwa sehalus seni.

Hiduplah wahai jasad, percayalah wahai hati, hidup juga akan mati.

Sekuat mana kaki ini terpasak kaku, hadirnya jiwa untuk sama mencipta rasa bahagia.

Bersama aku.

InshaaAllah.

*Aku mahukan arjuna dan si penjaga sama arjuna :)

Again.

When someone you love was in denial.

Again.. I was on the same wreckage. In the same glass room, but it was more suffocating and torturing. Deep wound, torn scars.

If this is what I must have in order to be a better servant, let it be patience and a believer survivor.

May one day, I can smile and love again.. because what I have now was more than enough. 

I was busy searching another half of me, while I have my ultimate complement right inside of me.

#A month separation: Day 2

Leka. Layan rasa. Duka.

Leka dan leka.

Sungguh aku malu DIA masih ada disisi seperti selalu,

menitip lalu melirik kesedaran dan permohonan ampun seorang hamba.

Benar hidup ini ibarat sidang peperiksaan.

Cikgu itu ada, tetapi dia bisa diam.

Melihat anak murid itu jatuh berkali-kali mengaduh;

tetapi takkan berterusan mengeluh.

Lap peluh :)

Aku takkan berhenti percaya rahmat DIA itu senantiasa ada.

#A month separation: Day 1

There's no fear in my heart;
because all the people I do love so much will be in ALLAH protections, whenever and wherever they are.

There's no doubt in my heart;
because everything we've planned, ALLAH always had a very good and better plan  for us.

There's no regret in my heart;
because all I can and could ever do was always with HIS permission. Oh ALLAH, please help me put YOU first than anything, and please..help me be the best daughter and sister they ever had in their life.

Oh ALLAH, please put me fear death more than I fear for not being someone other half.
Please guide me ALLAH, I'd rather anxious of my capability and deeds upon entering your Jannah.

YOU will always knew what is the best for me.

Oh  ALLAH, please make me prepared to be your humble and repent servant whenever I made mistakes.
Sesungguhnya kasih sayang MU Ya ALLAH, melebihi segala.

Aminn.

#On the 12th days of giving spaces : Last night conversation

Bismillah.

On 9.23 pm, I've called you. To have a conversation, to clarify.

There was only one thing on my mind on that night. Was this the man I've knew all this while? Who always cheerful and stand strong in whatever condition he might bear..because he sounds 'different'.

It keep ringing in my mind;

This is the man I've prayed Istikharah for, and this is the man I've asked my Ayah to be friend with.

This is the man who introduce me to his Mak and family soonest he has made his mind about us.

This is the man who said he will meet my Ayah soon he is ready to made me as his wife.

This is the man.

And the hardest part was..

This is the man, Suhadah.

And who are you to ask him to be okay and tells you anything he feels or what's going on, on his mind?

Who are you to be sad if both of you were not going to be together?

I believe in Qada' and Qadar Mr Safariq. 

I believe in Jodoh; that it will only happen with HIS permission.

And the least I can do now is pray.

If we are meant to be, it will be.

If we are not, Oh ALLAH, please separate us with the least negativity and loss.

Aminn.

#For Teddy 1: A little thing or two about you

*Memories*